The Foot of the Matter
It's suddenly mid-July in the DC area, having been stuck in mid-March for the last 10 weeks. So I pulled out my summer slides and sandals and stuff and I'm feeling very kicky and stylin'.
And then I become aware of how...unkempt my feet are. My big toes have callouses, my heels are all rough, my polish is chipped (the horror!), and even my toe ring is looking a bit shabby. I sadly have come to the conclusion that I may have to submit to a pedicure, just for the start of the summer season.
I've never been much on girly-girl stuff. I'm 34 years old, and I've never had a manicure, never had my hair "done" for a big event, never been to a tanning booth. I got a pedicure once. It was awful.
I understand from the many other women I've talked to about this that my experience was outside the norm. This doesn't change the fact that I'm not anxious to prove the theory either way.
My mom gave me a gift certificate to a nail place for Mother's Day several years ago. I borrowed a pair of open-toed shoes from her (I didn't own any at the time) and headed off to the mall for my first pedicure.
First, I sit with my feet in the tub for a very, very long time. I think the woman forgot about me. My feet were almost wrinkly by the time she came to buff and polish and stuff.
Second, I'm not all that crazy about people touching my feet in the first place. I'm slightly ticklish, but mostly, it just feels odd. I'm sure Zander is comforted by the idea that I will never, ever ask him for a foot massage. So the whole experience made me kind of squeamy.
Third, not once, not twice, but three times the woman pedicuring me sliced the cuticule on my toes, and then poured acid (or whatever they pour on cuts....I just know it burned like hellfire) on the bleeding bits.
Now, after a LONG time with my feet in a steaming tub of water, I was a little overheated, and that combined with the pain of the cuticule abuse made me pass out. I'm not unused to passing out; I've been a chronic fainter for as long as I can remember. But I passed out in the chair, and one of the other patrons came over to revive me before the woman working on my feet noticed anything wrong.
I always feel a little weird coming to, and afterwards it's kind of like having a hangover. I didn't feel at all well, but pushed myself to get through the experience. The toe torturer finished, I gave them the gift certificate, and, head achey, palms clammy, and toes screaming, I walked through the mall towards my car.
On my way out, I detoured to the jewelry kiosk and got my left ear pierced, up top, in the cartilage. It took my mind off my feet.
There are two day spas within walking distance of my office, but nowhere I can get my ear pierced. Do I dare?
And then I become aware of how...unkempt my feet are. My big toes have callouses, my heels are all rough, my polish is chipped (the horror!), and even my toe ring is looking a bit shabby. I sadly have come to the conclusion that I may have to submit to a pedicure, just for the start of the summer season.
I've never been much on girly-girl stuff. I'm 34 years old, and I've never had a manicure, never had my hair "done" for a big event, never been to a tanning booth. I got a pedicure once. It was awful.
I understand from the many other women I've talked to about this that my experience was outside the norm. This doesn't change the fact that I'm not anxious to prove the theory either way.
My mom gave me a gift certificate to a nail place for Mother's Day several years ago. I borrowed a pair of open-toed shoes from her (I didn't own any at the time) and headed off to the mall for my first pedicure.
First, I sit with my feet in the tub for a very, very long time. I think the woman forgot about me. My feet were almost wrinkly by the time she came to buff and polish and stuff.
Second, I'm not all that crazy about people touching my feet in the first place. I'm slightly ticklish, but mostly, it just feels odd. I'm sure Zander is comforted by the idea that I will never, ever ask him for a foot massage. So the whole experience made me kind of squeamy.
Third, not once, not twice, but three times the woman pedicuring me sliced the cuticule on my toes, and then poured acid (or whatever they pour on cuts....I just know it burned like hellfire) on the bleeding bits.
Now, after a LONG time with my feet in a steaming tub of water, I was a little overheated, and that combined with the pain of the cuticule abuse made me pass out. I'm not unused to passing out; I've been a chronic fainter for as long as I can remember. But I passed out in the chair, and one of the other patrons came over to revive me before the woman working on my feet noticed anything wrong.
I always feel a little weird coming to, and afterwards it's kind of like having a hangover. I didn't feel at all well, but pushed myself to get through the experience. The toe torturer finished, I gave them the gift certificate, and, head achey, palms clammy, and toes screaming, I walked through the mall towards my car.
On my way out, I detoured to the jewelry kiosk and got my left ear pierced, up top, in the cartilage. It took my mind off my feet.
There are two day spas within walking distance of my office, but nowhere I can get my ear pierced. Do I dare?
posted by ilse at 6:22 PM
4 Comments:
Perhaps you should ask for recommendations before you select a location ... just a thought.
Sasha who has a pedicure scheduled for Friday. It's been almost two months !!!
Dood. With feet like that, how do you ever get me to fuck you?
Oh, is that what you call -- um, I mean, because you're a man of great kindness and pity.
Hey, at least I never ask you for foot rubs.
I am now rethinking my desire for a pedicure. I've never had one either, but since I'm feeling dumpy and my feet aren't fat, I thought I pamper something.
Now I'm not so sure.
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